Published to Reddit’s controversial r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/cherrywasheree shared her story to get unbiased opinions from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 900 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she has a 24-year-old sister with Down syndrome and how her parents looked after her as she was unable to take care of herself. Unfortunately, the OP’s father passed away in a car accident and the help was placed on her mother.

The OP wrote, “My mother has been extremely ill from the treatments and is constantly at appointments. I have been doing my best to try and support her and my sister during this difficult time.My mother recently had a discussion with me that she is no longer able to care for my sister anymore and wanted me to take on the role as her caregiver. My mother is worried my sister wouldn’t cope well in a home and wants her to stay around family.

“I told my mother that I would not take on the role as her caregiver. The reason I refused is that I am currently working as an RN and am currently going to school to become a nurse practitioner. It has been my life dream to become a nurse practitioner someday. If I was to care for my sister I would have to give that up,” she continued.

She assured her mother that if her sister was put into a home, she would regularly visit so she didn’t feel like she was being neglected. Unfortunately, her mother didn’t like her answer. She called the OP selfish and how she “should be ashamed” of herself. The OP admitted that she offered to help pay for the home so her mother didn’t have to pay for it herself.

The rest of the OP’s family thinks she’s a “horrible person” and should look after her sister since she’s single and has no children.

Newsweek reached out to u/cherrywasheree for comment.

Being a good caregiver to a person with Down syndrome

As defined by the CDC, Down syndrome is a condition in which a person has an extra chromosome. Typically, a child is born with 46 chromosomes, which determines how a baby’s body forms as it grows during pregnancy and post-birth. Children with Down syndrome have an extra copy of chromosome 21.

To be a good caregiver to a person with Down syndrome, it’s important that the caregiver can continue to educate themselves all while helping the person live a happy life. Caregivers should also help find all different kinds of activities that the person enjoys all while helping the person develop crucial skills to succeed in their lives, per the Personal Assistance Services of Colorado.

Redditor reactions

U/T3HN3RDY1 wrote, receiving the top comment of over 10,000 upvotes, “[Not the a**hole]. This is a horrible situation, but it comes down to this: You did not choose to have your sister. Your mother chose to have another child, and the fact that your sister is developmentally disabled and needs a caretaker is not on you. You do not owe her anything.

“More than that, if you don’t want to do the job but feel like you have to, you’ll be miserable and resent her, which is bad for her. You do not have the obligation to give up your entire life for this. Being a caretaker is a really time-consuming and stressful thing, and not everyone is suited for it. In your position I would do the same thing,” the commenter continued.

“[Not the a**hole]. Your parents should have planned better for what would happen after their deaths. They had 24 years to do so,” u/junkymonkeydong said.

U/aleeseeahforyou commented, “It would be selfless if you did, but it’s not selfish if you don’t. If your sister can’t function without a caregiver, she needs a caregiver. You are not one. You’re a nurse. It is not your responsibility to step in for your parents lack of plan for your sister’s care upon their aging. [Not the a**hole].”