In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/ThrowRAmyBFisanidiot (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her best friend “Ben” pushed his wife to open their relationship but detailed how that decision backfired spectacularly.
Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for telling my Ex Best Friend that he caused his divorce?” the post has received nearly 10,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments since September 23.
“I…recently got into an argument with my now Ex Best friend,” OP began. “Let’s call him Ben.”
Continuing to explain that Ben persuaded his wife Gwen into opening their relationship, the original poster said she warned that allowing extramarital affairs would have unintended consequences, but was ultimately ignored.
The original poster also said that, after her best friend’s wife began dating another man, the open relationship immediately soured.
“Ben comes complaining that his wife won’t close the relationship and has been seeing this guy,” OP wrote. “[He] asked me if I could talk some sense into her so she could close their relationship.
“I just [deadpan] looked at him and said he was an idiot who wanted his cake and [to] eat it too and now he had to face the consequences,” OP continued. “It’s been 3 months and Gwen filed for divorce.
“Ben was complaining to me again and I told him he now has what he wanted, the freedom to sleep around,” OP added. “He got mad at me for rubbing his face in his divorce and told me not to contact him and that all women are alike.”
Open relationships are risky business.
However, despite the potential for extreme jealousy and unresolved feelings to cause couples to regret their liberal decision, many in the United States remain interested in entertaining more than one romantic partner at once.
Although Psychology Today reports that just 4 percent of adults in the U.S. are in non-monogamous relationships, a 2021 YouGov survey revealed that a quarter of Americans are intrigued by the possibility of opening their own.
The same survey also revealed that 32 percent of unmarried men, and 30 percent of married men, expressed interest in open relationships, compared to just 19 percent of unmarried women and 21 percent of married women.
But while one party may express greater interest in a non-monogamous relationship, the results of opening a partnership to other partners do not always match what was initially envisioned.
And throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors were adamant that the original poster’s former best friend got exactly what he bargained for.
“I believe that Ben has experienced the literal definition of ‘fk around and find out,” Redditor u/FoxBun_17 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 19,000 upvotes. “[Not the ahole].”
“100% [not the a**hole] OP,” Redditor u/NuvStorm echoed, receiving more than 3,000 upvotes. “He pressured her into something she didn’t want [and] she upgraded. Not your problem.”
“You warned him and he didn’t listen,” another Redditor chimed in, receiving nearly 4,000 upvotes. “Ben wanted to have sex with whoever he wanted but then instantly changed his mind when she starts sleeping with another guy. [He] has no reason to be mad here.”
Redditor u/Sea-Confection-2627 offered a similar response.
“[Not the a**hole],” they wrote. “You warned Ben and he got burned anyway. Seems he misunderstood the meaning of the term ‘open relationship.’
“He shouldn’t keep complaining to you, so reminding him of the consequences of his actions would be appropriate,” they added.
Newsweek has reached out to u/ThrowRAmyBFisanidiot for comment.
